On December 22nd, life changed as I knew it.
This is what was surgically done to my foot:
(Caution: not for the faint of heart) (whoops too late)
And this is the less offensive, non X-ray view people see:
Thanks to my gifted podiatrist, Dr. Lindsay Mae Chandler (https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaymae-chandler-6488a038), I now have 2 pins in my second and third toes, a screw in my big toe, and the promise of an entirely new foot; which someday, I know, will be a HUGE blessing.
However right now it is
a pain in the an opportunity for growth.
(hopefully not in pounds).
The truth is, I am learning the uncomfortable art of depending on others.
Up until midnight on December 21st, I drove where I wanted, prepared food when I wanted, showered as I wanted, and went where I wanted.
Whenever I needed to go there.
Since becoming Edward Scissorfoot, none of that happens.
And what does happen has to be done with the help of someone else.
Everything takes 4 times as long, expends 4 times the amount of energy,
and believe it or not, the process of just getting my hair clean is enough to put me down for a nap.
This apparatus accompanies me everywhere I go:
And this is the over- dramatized version of how to use this apparatus:
Like any change in perspective, suddenly I have eyes to see those who live with restrictions (much worse than mine) every day of their lives.
I’ve always taken note of their challenges.
But I’m newly aware of the every day dependence they are forced to have.
Help they need that isn’t always help they want.
Things they get that might not be things they would have gotten themselves.
Learning to appreciate what comes instead of what’s always desired.
And all the while learning the dance of dependence with people they need, that they desperately want to avoid burning out.
After my six weeks of doing this dance, I hope I hold on to this vision.
And when I see people without homes,
or brain capacity,
I will look past their handicap to the dance they are forced to be in.
And maybe I’ll enter their dance.
With more compassion.
And a new foot.