It happened last weekend.
My husband and our eleven year old boy had “the talk.” You know, the S-E-X one.
It was the perfect timing, because I was away speaking and they had a couple days all to themselves. And with the help of some CDs by Dr. Dobson, our boy knows a lot more now than when I left.
Some may think eleven is little premature to have “the talk”, however given the latest stats for when a child first views pornography(accidentally or otherwise), we decided we’d rather err on “a little too early” than “a little too late.” (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/when_children_use_pornography.aspx )
It didn’t hurt that the table was set a month ago when our boy came into the kitchen and announced that he was going through puberty. Since we had never actually said that word, we knew we better batten down the hatches and get on board.
Turns out some peach fuzz was appearing, and he was certain a beard and a voice change was not far behind. (Have I said lately how much I love that boy?)
So we took this little sound bite as our cue and started planning. We thought it would be better to hear it from us before he saw it on one of his friends’ cell phones (God forbid).
This is the culture we live in. And like it or not, we better enter it before it devours our kids.
So now he knows. Everything. At least as much as 4 CD’s could pack in that pre-adolescent brain.
I asked my husband if they lit up a cigarette after they listened to CD #4. Since there are no cigarettes in our household, they just sat in thoughtful silence instead.
The one question my boy did have after his induction into manhood was whether rubbing his arm would give him that feeling the CD talked about. After all at his age, one body part is just like any other.
(Can we just stop the clock for a while longer?)
No we can’t.
This gorgeous specimen of a boy (completely unprejudiced opinion) is rapidly turning into a gorgeous specimen of a man.
But girls, take note: You will have to go through me to get to him.
In the meantime, I am enjoying the last few weeks of cuddles and kisses, knowing that full blown adolescence, complete with it’s temporary yet agonizing distance, is not far off.
And I am so glad that for now “CD #4” is something “he doesn’t even want to even think about until he’s married.” (a direct quote from a conversation in our car).
I am praying he bucks the culture and stays with this eleven year old decision.
At least he knows now what a huge decision it is.
Babies are made, hearts are bonded (or broken), and bigger things happen than our culture tells us when two people come together in this God given way. For that reason, my husband and I decided to share this personal soundbite in our parenting process.
It’s never too late to have this conversation with your kids.
And it’s probably not too early.