The top ten reasons women need to get away

I have to be honest, I always have mixed feelings going on women’s retreats.  Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy women- it’s just that I feel a little reluctant when it comes to being around a large number of them.

A big part of it is I was single for 49 years, and finally married just 4 years ago. (Yes, that was a full disclosure on my age). So I guess you could say Couples retreats are a bit more appealing at the moment. And because I not only got a wonderful husband when I married, but a darling son thrown into the mix, pretty much my favorite thing to do is hang out with my 2 boys.

my boys

Wouldn’t you feel the same?

However this weekend I am going on a weekend retreat with a bunch of women from my church. Who, by the way, I actually really like.

It’s just that I usually prefer being with them in smaller numbers. I’m not the kind who gravitates toward a stockpile of estrogen all in one place.

women_conference

I think a lot of women feel a little scared before they go to these things. Who knows, maybe the guys do too. (Although I have a hard time picturing anyone saying “Bob I’m kinda nervous to be here with all these guys.”)

And yet in spite of my reticence, I usually come home from Women’s retreats grateful I went.

So in honor of women who may have not taken the plunge (and men who wonder what it’s  actually like on one of these retreats), I thought I’d share some of the benefits I can usually count on by going away for a weekend with women:

  1. I will be around people who use as many words a day as I do
  2. I will be surprisingly unconcerned if there are any vegetables left on the plates of those around me
  3. I will not find Legos in my bed or trip on the Hulk when I go to the bathroom.
  4. I will always be able to find someone to share a dessert. Or two. Or four. But in the end, each of us will only be having half a dessert.
  5. I can keep the temperature as low as I want at night (this is especially beneficial for women over 50).
  6. I will not have to explain my moods. And if I want to explain them, people will care.
  7. When I share in my small group, no one will be checking scores on their iphones.
  8. No one around me will be afraid to ask directions to the dining hall
  9. I will always have company going to the restroom, and will actually have some of my most meaningful conversations there
  10. I will be able to go into any stall, and all of the toilet seats will be down

AND BEST OF ALL…(not to throw off David Letterman by adding an eleventh)

11. Spending time away from the men in my life will help me appreciate them even more when I come home.

(Even if they turn on the football game when I am half way through telling them about it.)