If you’ve been following my recent blog history,
you can probably guess with what.
(And if not, feel free to look back)
If you want a hint,
it begins with a B,
ends with a T,
and has two O’s in the middle.
(This is for you visual learners)
However the unfortunate truth of my post surgery healing is that I’m not done.
And I’m newly aware of how many instances in my life that has been the case.
The most prominent one was when I was DONE being single.
Since I was 25 at the time, and married at 49,
you can imagine how many “I AM DONE’s” I cried out.
However, looking back, I can see things that were happening in me that needed to happen.
And everything I went through prepared me for the marriage I have now.
But if you had asked me when I was 30,
I would have said
I’m ready already.
I mean, How much more do I need to go through?
(note to self: Not always the best question to ask God)
Truth be told, in the wake of my single years, I learned I had a
giant small issue of abandonment.
Apparently going through my parents divorce, followed by my dad’s marriage to a woman three years older than me, had backed up on me somewhere.
On a side note, she’s wonderful, and they’ve been married over 30 years.
But when it happened all those years ago, it left a hole inside me.
And because of that, every breakup took longer to get over than was normal.
My friends would be yelling to ex boyfriends “SEE YA SUCKER!”,
while I was crying “PLEASE COME BACK.”
I needed the sucker to stay in order to feel whole.
But God knew I needed to be whole on my own.
In a sense, I had to stand alone before I could properly “stand together”.
Otherwise I would be clinging for all I was worth.
And hanging on to my husband’s ankles while he tried to go to work is not a pretty picture to think about.
Especially for him
(This was the picture he hated last time and here I am using it again.)
(Guess I’m healed of the fear he might leave me.)
So right about now, some of you may be saying
“I just wanted to get a little blog inspiration, not get down and dirty with Laurie’s issues.”
So I’ll stop.
But not before asking you (with a bit of nudging trepidation)… What might an “issue” be for you?
If you feel “done” dealing with it, l am right there with you.
But I’ve got 3-4 weeks left till I’m healed.
I may be done.
But the doctor reminded me today I’m not done.
However, when you see me in these you will know I am through.
You will be one day too.
For more encouragement in your season of waiting, follow this link: http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Faith-Dark-Story-Takes/dp/0310337119/ref=la_B00IKAGCDG_1
WOW! Your timing is spot on! I am feeling isolated and stressed with the current situation and have cried out that I’m done. But, I have no options other than to press on with faith and allow God to use this season for even more refining. I suppose that I am just a bit selfish and want my “normal” life back…if it was ever normal!
I will rejoice with you when you boot the boot!
I don’t think you are selfish at all Ann, and pray that this season will end. What we do know is that life is always moving- this isn’t the end of the story and absorbing all of God’s lessons will equip you for what’s ahead. You’ll see more then what all this is about. I will too:)
Hang in there,Sweetie. God is using this time to heal and bless you AND the rest of us through your blog.
Nice post, Laurie! Sorry about the b-o-o-t and I soooo understand about being done. Feeling that way myself in a couple of situations, but I also agree with you and see that God is working on me. Yes, I’d like things to be changed and done and let’s move on, but obviously God knows better what I need. Praying for you. Thanks for the smile and encouragement!
thanks Laura! really appreciate your notes. Yes- I think we look back and see so much more what God is up to. Blessings to you!